My man-mode mentality will make me believe that hustle and grind is what will make things happen and achieve my goals. This masculine energy is all about doing instead of being. Since learning how to be more receptive and exploring my divine feminine energy I have been constantly just tuning in with my body and checking in with my true inner desires. I have never done that before. I used to be the type of person that would automatically say “YES” to invites or do things that clearly I did not want to do and responded quickly without even sleeping on my response to the request.
Learning to say “NO” is hard AF. I still worry that people will not like me, and that I am hurting people’s feelings by standing on my choice to say “NO”. I am working on not worrying about what others think of me, and I know that it takes time to reprogram years of pleasing conditioning behavior.
Recently, I have had projects offerings that are not 100% aligned with my values and so I have to protect my precious energy. My time is my most valuable resource. Even if money talks, I am not desperate to make money in exchange for what does not align with my soul.
According to Dictionary.com, Alignment is “a state of agreement or cooperation among persons, groups, nations, etc., with a common cause or viewpoint.” Alignment is like having a super power. Hustling can cost your soul and I am all set with selling and losing my soul for money, fame and power. You see to me INTEGRITY is everything, even if it means saying no to short term gains.
I am not disregarding hustle mentality or saying is wrong. I have to remind myself that busy work doesn’t necessarily mean that I am being productive and also sometimes just working hard ultimately leads to burn out and can lead to health issues.
I am detaching myself from the constant hustling, and feeling like I have to do everything. I need to stop putting so many expectations imposed on me by me, of the constant need to prove myself, of going in circles and feeling like a hamster stuck in a cage.
If you look at the definition of hustle in the Merriam-Webster dictionary:
hus·tle: transitive verb 1a: to crowd or push roughly : had been hustled into a jail cell with the other protesters b: to convey forcibly or hurriedly… grabbed him by the arm and hustled him out the door c: to urge forward precipitately hustling tourists from one museum to the next 2a: to obtain by energetic activity —usually used with up hustle up new customers try to hustle up some tickets to tonight’s game hustling up some grub b: to sell something to or obtain something from (someone) by energetic and especially underhanded activity : SWINDLEhustling the suckersan elaborate scam to hustle the elderly c: to sell or promote energetically and aggressively hustling a new product d: to lure less skillful players into competing against oneself at (a gambling game)hustle pool
The meaning of the word is what is wrong with the language. I don’t want to be pushed, or sell myself aggressively, and or hurried. I want to accomplish my goals, it is not like I am going to sit back and not do anything to achieve my goals. I am asking now the hard questions such as: how do I move forward without pushing or forcing outcomes? How do I know when I am out of alignment? Does this cause me bliss? How do I feel after doing this, depleted or fully recharged?
I have been able to identify my misalignment; by acknowledging when I am feeling stuck, when I try to do busy work to keep me distracted. This is how I know when I am out of alignment. This is the time when I need to practice going inwards and finding answers within me. Practicing doing NOTHING and just BEING is how I gain balance and welcome my feminine energy to be magnetic. This is the time I surrender and let go and let God. I surrender to the flow of life and release everything that is no longer serving me. I pray, slow down and journal. I spent time with the most important person, ME.
In order to serve, I need to have my cup full in order to pour into others, therefore, tending to my needs and self-care takes priority. This is when I practice setting clear boundaries and intentions. This way I protect from energy vampires and from doing projects and behaviors that ultimately do not serve my higher purpose.